How to avoid embarassment at College!

 Three common mistakes new college students make that can easily be avoided.

Part 1

1.  You do not have to ask permission to leave lecture or a class in college, you are free to return to lecture. So don’t raise your hand to ask to go get a drink or use the restroom. You will hear snickering from other students when you do this, at the very least you will have a bunch of students starring at you as you leave after you ask.  Just quietly dismiss yourself from class, and return as quietly as possible.  Second tip, aisle seats are the best in large lecture halls, if you know you have to leave class early for any reason. If you have assigned seats in a lecture, ask the professor if you can have an aisle seat!

2. Your laptop/tablet.  Electronic devices such as laptops are increasingly more affordable, more people have laptops now than ever before. But be mindful of what video or website that you were watching prior to shutting the lid to your laptop and running off to class. Nothing can be more embarrassing for a student than. That dirty picture of themselves they were sending to their boyfriend or girlfriend back home. Or those XXX rated sites being the first thing those sitting around you see when you turn back on your laptop. This also goes for music you were listening to. Most laptops when you shut the lid will just pause everything and automatically resume when you log back in. Avoid a loud or embarrassing disruption to your lecture or class!

3. Your Cellphone/Smartphone Those ring tones that you think are cute, may not be very cute. So remember keep your cellphones on vibrate or silent. While it may be cute to have some ringtone that is not appropriate for mixed company remember you are in a “scholarly environment” So the pick up the phone its your mom ring tone. Will be embarrassing if it goes off in class.  Either change your ring tone now, or make sure your phone is on silent.

• Also you might want to consider keeping your cellphone locked.  If you feel the need to take pictures of yourself for text purposes to your boyfriend or girlfriend back home. It could be embarrassing if someone finds your phone you left in class, and stumbles upon well XXX photos of yourself. Even worse if they get posted to the internet and spread around to other classmates on campus! Attach an email address to the back of your phone so someone can email you to let you know they found your phone! Simple as that. Keep your Private stuff Private!

To be continued… Part two soon!

~the philosopher~

The Feather Duster is under the sink. Run Run Run

Anonymous Question:

I woke up today and realized I was lost. I Look back on my life and realize that Im a 25 year old who needs to figure her stuff out. My whole life has been one big mistake. i need to figure out what it is that makes me happy? but how do you do that? I have looked everywhere. I have traveled many roads im not proud i traveled. I guess you can say you make mistakes thats how you learn. Well what if you make mistakes over and over and YOU KNOW YOUR DOING IT! but for some reason you cant change it or stop it. (before i continue its not any sort of Illegal activities.) Its just a problem i have with myself. My attitude what i say to people how i say it? Its not the articulation its the stupid things you say. I am a liar. Its addicting. because i can sit and say DONT LIE. but sure enough I need something to entertain. So maybe i do it for attention.. Lord knows i dont get much of that here. When I go in for a kiss and the way you pull away or how you hate when i touch you? Do you know how bad it hurts to know the person you love doesnt want you to touch them? And the sad part is they wont admit anything is wrong? They just amount you to being crazy? Maybe i am? Maybe Im so backwards that im forward? All i know is i feel empty. I feel like im forgetting what emotion is. Everyday is a constant reminder that I was never really prepared for life. I am just sick of feeling nothing-ness. I know im a mess. I just couldnt find a friend when i needed one…. Then again i never do.

Dear Currently Lost,

Well, first of you are on the right track. So I do have to applaud you there. So about the lying thing. People lie about all kinds of things all day long for different reasons.  Those reasons can be a rather long list. So I will try to be short and sweet, but that never seems to be the case with me and my advice. Some people lie to cover up something they did wrong. Such as cheat on a significant other. Why would they lie about cheating, Well it could be a long list but here is a few, They don’t want to loose the person they are with, They don’t want to admit they did wrong, or they don’t want to hurt someone emotionally. Usually its a combination of the first two.

Other people lie about things they don’t need to such as why they were late to class, or late to work so on and so forth. They make up these stories about a flat tire, the dog ate their key, there kid puked all over them bit, as if it will gain some sort of brownie points, but in reality it does not. It will only make the boss man or lady think about you through out the day and only over emphasis that you were late. Eventually they will forget that made up story why someone was late, and only remember they were late. Where a simple, I had trouble getting up this morning so and so, I will set my alarm earlier so it won’t happen again. Would work much better since it is usually the case.

But the final example I am going to give you seems like it is more applicable because of other things that you said in your letter of sorts.  People lie to attempt to impress people, or so that people with think that you are more interesting, OR OR you are hiding behind these walls of Lies to maybe get through something, some hidden emotions you are afraid to show.  Addressing your issue with lying isn’t always as simple as looking in the mirror and saying I am not going to lie today. I will just tell the truth. You will have to figure out why you are lying, what is the purpose of the types of lies you tell.  You will need a pad of paper and a pen for this project.  I want you to list out the last 20 lies you told 20 different people. If there was more than one lie to those 20 people then write them down as well. Look at the relationship between you and that person that you lied to.. Friend, coworker, Lover, Parent, Sibling, Random Stranger etc.
then look at the lie that you told them. You will have to write out the whole lie. Then you will have to look at the lie and its purpose.
For example, If I told a girl i randomly meet. And made up a Lie saying oh I have a BMW 750il, and made 20 grand last week. Well why did i make up such a lie? What what I trying to accomplish? To get in her pants? that she might some how like me? Or to make her feel I am out of her league? Or because I don’t feel that I would be enough for such girl and that I am ashamed? Those are some examples of possible why’s if I told some story like that to someone. So if for example my reason is I wanted to hook up then i need to look at my approach.. Any woman that a guy like myself wants to be with Doesn’t want to be with a gold digger.

Now if I didn’t feel i was good enough for her and i was insecure.. and some how that would make me more interesting? Well that is an acceptance issue. Why am I not proud enough of the person that I am?  Its the personality and the way someone treats a gal that really counts when it comes to women not the dick size or money they make. Just be yourself. I can’t tell you how many guys I have told that advice to.. But it really doesn’t apply to you. But, I am sure that you can catch the drift.

You Might end up cleaning house with the friends that you keep, Lonely sucks, but at least people are not hurting you are being a bad influence. As far as the whole leaning in to kiss your lover.. and they don’t want to be touched by you etc… That is a problem I almost don’t want to discuss. But I will offer a few very true possibility answers. 1. they are not physically attracted to you anymore 2. they are no longer emotionally attached to you. 3. they are cheating on you. 4. they lost the love and passion they had for your. 5. No longer mentally stimulated by you.  Yes each of those things suck, and all things that you will have to look in the mirror and figure out? Have you gained a lot of weight in the relationship? Have you made the relationship all about you, ie never doing things for him or her? If someone once wanted you to be all over them, and no longer do? There is some need not being meet bottom line. Only true open communication will fix that, IF It can be fixed. Far too many people are afraid to hurt someones feelings, and also stick around in a relationship because they are comfortable with what to expect..  Sometimes you just have to walk away.

As far as not being equipped for life. While you can not turn back the hands of time. You can focus on the here and now and the future and make goals. But Making goals and not following through will be of no help to you. Everyone is equipped, just sometimes we leave the house with a half full glass of happiness, and self esteem… You will have to fill that glass of happiness and self esteem on your own.  If you do not you will be sucking the life out of the person you are with. Ultimately ending in two people not happy at all. Being with someone, should not and can not be your only source of happiness, because frankly when they are gone, or having a down day you can’t share your cup with them.. All of the happiness between the two of you will have already been split upon the ground. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust off the past and those holding you down, and focus on you.

I hope that helps..

~thephilosopher~